I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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