i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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