i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize