Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
