Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can't talk, ducks in the car
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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