OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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