So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
