if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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