Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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