Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
why do cheetos always look like penises
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
