i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
