found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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