Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
