I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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