I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
