as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
