PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
