wat bout pragnant strippers??
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
