I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
