Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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