He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
