if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
