I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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