after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
