Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
