I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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