how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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