you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
