In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize