i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
