did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
