ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
