wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
