You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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