im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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