I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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