Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
