OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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