me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
