Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
