I'm eating all of the evidence.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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