Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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