Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
