You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
