I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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