I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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