another moral hangover. fuck.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
