Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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