things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize