haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
