Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
