I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize