ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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