I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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