she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
