physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
