I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
