Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
