I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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