Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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