Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
